Trust your instincts. Listen to that little voice inside that whispers this sequel has ‘bad idea’ written all over it. “Basic Instinct” didn’t deserve a sequel immediately following its release back in 1992, and now in 2006 there’s even less of a reason to make a follow-up. The only explanation as to why this thing exists is as a vanity project for Sharon Stone. There simply can’t be any other legitimate excuse for “Basic Instinct 2.”

What passes for a plot is a silly mess of twists and turns that are not only predictable but downright ludicrous. This time around finds novelist Catherine Tramell in London doing who knows what with various men. Accused of murdering a football star, she’s arrested and then sent to Dr Michael Glass (David Morrissey) for psychiatric evaluation. Dr Glass' job is to try and figure out if Catherine should be considered a threat to the general public or if the judge can release her on bail. Glass quickly figures out she’s addicted to taking risks – hence the working title of the film: “Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction.”

Apparently being addicted to risks isn’t reason enough to keep someone locked up. Her release pisses off the police detective (David Thewlis) who takes it personally and vows, in the most colorful language possible, to lock her away and throw away the key. Out of jail and back on the prowl, Catherine convinces Dr Glass she needs more of his ‘special’ insight and hires him as her therapist. More people wind up dead and innocent lives are ruined (and I’m not just talking about the poor suckers in the audience who pay to sit through this) as Catherine manipulates, and quite possibly murders, everyone she comes in contact with.

Stone lights up where she’s not supposed to and sits spread-eagle in a chair (although since she’s facing backwards in it the famed shot from the first film isn’t exactly repeated). She gets naked (she’s already confirmed that in interviews so it doesn’t count as a spoiler), movie-style sex abounds, and every other word her character utters is somehow sexual. In fact there are a couple of spots in the film where “Basic Instinct 2” comes off feeling like an amateurish soft core porn movie. While that may be a turn on for those only interested in purchasing a ticket to see Stone’s rock-hard 48 year-old body, for everyone else there’s nothing of interest here.

As for Stone’s co-stars, they’re little more than filler to give Stone someone to interact with. Morrissey’s trapped in a permanent scowl. Thewlis spends the entire movie angry although, to his credit, that’s what the role calls for. Charlotte Rampling gets the short end of the stick as the second banana female star who doesn’t have the benefit of the make-up pros or lighting techniques used to show off Stone.

There’s sex but it’s not sexy. There’s nudity but no heat. There’s not even the tiniest spark of electricity generated on the screen. For all the frank sex talk and bare flesh, “Basic Instinct 2” is…how should I say this…boring and lifeless.

This is the sort of movie you point to when people say how much they want your job. Yes, getting to see movies for free is a major plus, but you have to take the good with the very, very bad. For every decent film there are four or five downers you have to endure. This is one of those films that makes me almost wish I didn’t watch films for a living.

“Basic Instinct 2” is so rotten it makes you want to go back in time and delete the original “Basic Instinct” from the records just so that there could never ever be a possibility of a sequel.